We’re each affected by our own “self-talk”, whether we want to admit it, or not. Sometimes, our self-talk is encouraging & positive…pushing us through challenges and difficult situations, by reminding us of the “whys” and wherefores of completing the task/goal at hand.

But, quite often, our “self-talk” can be negative, discouraging & self-defeating. We say things to ourselves that we would NEVER say to a friend who was going through the exact same situation or attempting to reach the same goal. Why is that? Why are we so willing to get in our own way?


When I was growing up, both my parents worked…and, sometimes there just wasn’t enough time in the day, with the busy-ness of life & children, for my mother to keep our home as clean and tidy as she felt it should be. My father, in an effort to help, suggested that Mum hire a cleaning lady, when needed. The idea made sense, but the major obstacle, in my Mum’s mind, preventing her from benefiting from this action was…that the house was too messy! Mum, embarrassed by her perceived shortcomings, felt she needed to CLEAN the house before the cleaning lady got there, thereby actually ADDING to her stress levels, rather than reducing the load!


Completely illogical? Yes, of course…but, I’m sure you can understand the feelings behind it. We often see similar thought processes with people coming in to our training facility, for the first time, who say they want to learn how to defend themselves or to improve their level of fitness.
These people have already taken the crucial steps of identifying something in their lives that they’d like to change, for the better. They’ve taken the time to find out what’s available to them and have overcome their trepidation about walking through the door.

move out of your comfort zone

It can be very intimidating to try something new or unfamiliar. You’d think that “getting there” would be the hardest part, right?


It’s not.

The hardest part is being committed to the mental discomfort of having to “learn”, and acknowledging that it takes both time & effort.

Learning something new can be a real challenge,
Particularly, when there are witnesses to your struggles. For some reason, we are convinced that others are more interested in OUR potential failings, than focused on their own efforts. Silly, of course, but a lot of our insecurities have no basis in reality…
yet, we allow ourselves to believe them.


self-talk 1

As a self-proclaimed, “control freak”, I am well acquainted with the internal desire to avoid looking clueless, uncoordinated or daft.
At the same time, I firmly believe in the concept of Kaizen (constant improvement) which, by definition, requires stretching my boundaries & perceived limits, on a fairly regular basis.

It isn’t easy being me! Haha!

I’m acutely familiar with my own “self-talk” patterns, being adept at the art of using perfectly logical excuses (let’s name them for what they are) to avoid having to follow through by going through the discomfort of what I need to do to get what I say I want.


“Talk yourself INTO it, not OUT of it!”

You must be willing to…


That may sound obvious when you’re going into a situation to LEARN something NEW, but our experience has shown us otherwise, whether it’s in our self defense or fitness classes.
People seemingly expect to be prodigies that instantaneously & miraculously absorb, retain & execute what others, on the same mats, have put both time & effort in to develop. Every single one of the people in the room have started in the same place, some who are experts in related areas, but are still willing and committed to going through the process of being a “beginner”, because they’re there for their own compelling reasons…and those reasons supersede any learning curve they need to adjust to. They know what it takes and respect others making their own effort. Character is often built through adversity…even if the adversity is of our own making.



If you’re wanting to try something new, you’re clearly doing it for a reason that means something to you. That’s a great start!
Now, make a viable plan. Give yourself a realistic time frame during which you COMMIT to giving whatever it is you’re doing an honest effort. Ask the instructor what you should expect to accomplish during that time, or do your own research. If you’re wanting to learn a new language but expect to be fluent in two weeks…you may want to think about re-adjusting your expectations.  Why set yourself up to FAIL?

Consider recruiting someone to do it with you. Accountability to someone else can often make the difference when you’re just not feeling the original enthusiasm. It’s also often a lot less intimidating when you do something with a friend who understands both your goals and your insecurities, because they know you (and probably have their own.)  Learning doesn’t have to be torturous to be effective!

Now, give it your best effort…every time.
Easier said, than done, right?


Know this your “best” is going to look a little different every day.
Some days, you’ll be on fire, totally “into it” and feeling like you’re catching on fast! Other days, you’re probably going to feel remedial and awkward. And, there will be times that it takes a heroic effort just to show up!
Just do your BEST to engage your brain! You’ll be amazed how that conscious choice can turn your mood/negative self-talk around, giving you the most out of every session!

Within this process lies growth, knowledge & a self awareness that will ultimately benefit you, as a person, whether or not you choose to continue with the training after your individual “game plan” has been completed.

At our training facility, we are always thrilled when people choose to take personal responsibility for their own well-being…and, we do our utmost to support those efforts.

We offer the first class free, to allow you to really experience what we do, how we do it…from there, it’s up to YOU!


You have to find your own compelling “WHY?”
You have to show up and put in the effort!
And, You have to get out of your own way!

We know you have it in YOU to be successful!

You just have to give yourself a chance.